jayne-burke

Is it normal for a massage to be painful?

jayne@jayneburke.com (Jayne Burke) — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 18:13:24 GMT

No! No! No! Absolutely not!

I've been a massage therapist for over 20 years and one of the questions I'm often asked is, “Is it normal for a massage to be painful?” And I'm going to tell you what I’ve told all of those people.

No! No! No! Absolutely not!

If it's painful, it means that the therapist is hurting you.

If someone is hurting you, that is abuse.

Bruising is bleeding underneath the skin.

Bruising means that actual damage has been done to your cells.

ABH - Actual Bodily Harm is Abuse.

So no, I don't think that's good in any way, shape, or form.

When you're on my massage table. I want to empower you as a client. I want to facilitate a safe place for you, which allows you to start taking back responsibility for your own body and your own well-being. For you to say “No” whenever you want to, and know that your “No” will be respected immediately (whether the pressure is too strong or too tickley, whether you don’t want that area worked in that way or at all today, whether it’s bringing up memories you don’t want to deal with today, or maybe, you just want to be heard when you say “no”). I want to work with you and your body. I certainly don't want to be one of those therapists that is working against you. I want you on my side so that we can do the best work together. When I work, I'm not just working with your physical body, I'm not just working with your aches and pains, I'm working with the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of you.

I want you to relax.

I want you to feel safe.

I want you to get to that nice floaty feeling when you're on my massage table. I want you to get to that bit between being fully conscious and being fully asleep, that floaty bit of nothingness where everything is calm and peaceful. Then, when my hands gently ask your muscles to let go of some of their unnecessary tension, that's where the magic happens. In that safe floaty bit that you're in, my hands can ask your muscles to let go of any emotional stuff that's stored there ; the fears, the worries, any traumas, all those sorts of things. And, as I work deeper into the muscle tension, and to the stuff that's stored there, you're in charge at all times, so your body can actually stop me, or it can welcome me. The more relaxed you are the easier it is to release any unnecessary tension from your muscles. And, if there is stuff that you don't want to release at that time, you don't feel safe enough to, it's not the right time to, or any of those things, then those muscles will just tense up a little bit to block me. You may hold your breath, your heart rate may increase, your body may tighten generally and that's when I know to back off a bit.

If I was to ignore your signals and if I was determined to go in to that area of your body to try to release the tension and ‘fix it’, your body would resist, the work would be difficult, it would hurt you and would probably cause bruising, and that would be ABH - actual bodily harm.

So, no, I don't.

No way!

I am trained in deep tissue massage, and it's fantastic. What it means is that I can get in to your muscles very deeply, without hurting either your body or my body in the process. However, as I mentioned earlier, all the time I’m working in deeper, I'm asking your body, your muscles, if it’s ok. My hands are there and they're saying, “I'm in this deep. Do you want me to go in deeper today or not? Is this the right time?” And there's that little bit of conversation. My hands are having a conversation with your body and your body gets to choose every time. Because, I fully believe that if I empower you to make the choices, your body will allow me to release whatever is right for you at that time.

And I fully believe that massage should never, ever be painful.

A little teeny-weeny caveat to that is a thing that some people call good pain. And that's when I'm working on a muscle. There's that moment when you can feel it (you can definitely feel it!), and you're hazily thinking, “in a minute or so, I'm probably going to need to tell Jayne as it’s almost getting a bit too much for me, but, it’s still ok, I'll just wait a little bit longer because it feels really, really good at the moment.” And that is what I call good pain.

However, if the therapist hasn’t developed their skills, it can very easily tip. We call it going over the ‘edge’. If it does tip, then the pain is sharp, and sore, and that's painful and yucky and dangerous. So, I personally never want to go there with any of my clients and I certainly never want to go there when I'm on the massage table either.

If you have been at the mercy of someone during a massage that is inflicting pain on you, you are, unfortunately, one of a million that have told me similar stories.

My advice is:

• Firstly: Don’t let it put you off getting another massage.

• Secondly: By disrespecting your body, they are disrespecting you.

• Thirdly: You don’t ever need to stand for it again. Tell them their pressure is too deep and it hurts. If they don’t immediately ease up on the pressure. Tell them to stop the massage immediately. Get up and walk out. Honestly, you will feel amazing! It is so empowering to stop that abuse happening.

You are not just a slab of meat on a massage table. You do not hand your body over to the massage therapist. You are there too. You are a whole person; who is made up of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects. Massage should never, ever be painful. That's not respectful. It's totally against anything that I do or that I believe in. I was trained to work holistically – to listen to your body and to use my skills to choose from the vast array of techniques and depths of pressure to find the combination that is appropriate for each individual client in each individual appointment – and to empower them to tell me if it isn’t.

When people ask me about the way I work, I always say, I don’t believe in “No pain, no gain.” I’d rather work with your body. I’d rather ‘ask’ your muscles to let go of any unnecessary tension. I’d rather work in a way that means we're going to stay friends afterwards. That's the plan.

My clients often tell me that their “pain and stress just seems to float away”. When you leave my therapy room after a Holistic Massage, I want you to feel as if you are both floating on air and yet feeling fully grounded at the same time.

Do get in touch if you feel that you would like to explore working with me.

The Purple Hat

jayne@jayneburke.com (Jayne Burke) — Thu, 01 Oct 2020 16:24:44 GMT

The Ageing Process For Women

Purple Hat

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can’t go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly”- but decides she’s going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she doesn’t have time to fix it, so she’s going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees “clean” and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees “I am” and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

by Erma Bombeck

Why wait until you're 80! I support women who want to let go of any unnecessary pain and/ or stress so that you can get on with enjoying your life. Please get in touch if you'd like to find out more about working with me so that you can start changing your life.

Jayne Burke

Holistic Therapist, Mind/Body Coach, Muscle Whisperer, All Round Good Egg, and Lover of Chocolate .

JayneBurke.com

Would you put essential oils on your Mask/ Face Covering if you knew the following?

jayne@jayneburke.com (Jayne Burke) — Sat, 22 Aug 2020 19:19:11 GMT

Why your mask/ face covering should NOT be used to administer Aromatherapy

Firstly, I need to say I'm not against Aromatherapy. I love Essential Oils and have been using them since my teens.

Masks/ Face Coverings were NOT designed as a way to administer Aromatherapy. Their intended purpose is to cover your nose and mouth and thus help to reduce the risk of spreading Covid-19. The following outlines some of the reasons why I feel essential oils should NOT be used neat on Masks/ Face Coverings.

Tell me, would you put essential oils on your Mask/ Face Covering if you knew the following?

1. Essential Oils may compromise the efficiency of your mask/ face covering . A wet mask is more liable to virus penetration. Essential oils can damage fabrics and may react with any chemicals in the materials of your mask to form toxic compounds and degrade or melt certain plastics.

2. Essential Oils should be used sparingly – a face mask/ covering means you cannot get away from it. You are inhaling the same oil all the time you have the mask on, hour after hour, day after day. Even if an oil is a proven sedative, inhaling too much may have the opposite effect. The aromatherapy molecules will stay in your system for a while – you do not need to be constantly inhaling them.

3. Essential Oils should (generally) not be used neat on the skin . Your mask touches your face which places the oils up against your skin, and skin damage could occur (irritation, rash, burn etc.). Sensitisation/ allergy often doesn’t occur on the first application.

4. Your mask/ face covering acts as a form of occlusion which increases the temperature and the hydration of your skin - increasing the absorption rate of the oil both through inhalation and through the skin.

5. Some essential oils are phototoxic even when diluted in carrier oils – there is a possibility of a potential skin reaction (burn) when your skin is exposed to sunlight (or sunbed) within the next 12 hours e.g. when you take your mask off outside.

6. You will inflict your choice of essential oils on the people you come into contact with . Because you’ve built up a tolerance to the smell you won’t notice how strong it is, but others may feel assaulted by it.

7. Some essential oils are considered a danger to people who are pregnant, have specific medical conditions or are on certain medications, to babies, children and to cats and dogs. Although essential oils come from plants and are natural, they still need to be treated with respect.

8. Our nasal passages and mucous membranes are delicate and I do not feel they should be constantly bombarded by the same essential oils for extended periods of time.

9. Stay Safe! Consult a qualified Clinical Aromatherapist. I will work with you to develop a Personal Prescription for you – as you develop and grow so your Personal Prescription will need to be tweaked too. The best way to use your Personal Prescription is in an Aromatherapy massage appointment. Your Aromatherapist may also supply it to you for home use in a massage oil, a cream, or a roller ball which you can apply to your skin occasionally, a liquid soap, shampoo or conditioner, in an aromatherapy inhaler, or a sniffer bottle which you can sniff occasionally.

10. Click here to sign up to my newsletter and get free access to my training video where I show you a simple solution to ‘Stay Safe’ whilst using aromatherapy and walk you through how to make your very own

About the author
Jayne Burke is a qualified Clinical Aromatherapist. She has been making Aromatherapy Personal Prescriptions (blends) to support the wellbeing of herself, her family, her friends and her clients for over 20 years. As a Holistic Therapist and Body/ Mind Whisperer (Coach), she specialises in helping women release emotional issues which have been buried in their muscle tissues (e.g. think of how people clench a fist when they’re cross). These issues often manifest a few years later under the guise of pain (muscular tension) and stress (overwhelm).

Click on the links to find out more about J ayne Burke , Holistic Therapies , or how to start working with Jayne

Corona Anxiety About Our Future Is Real!

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 17:43:08 GMT

We need to find a balance

Corona Anxiety About Our Future Is Real!

The Coronavirus pandemic has thrown us into anticipatory grief. It’s that feeling we get when we’re uncertain about what the future holds and we start imagining the worst-case scenarios (everyone dying etc.).

As in all things, we need to find a balance.

For every worst-case scenario that pops into our mind, we need to balance it with a thought of the best-case scenario we can think of (e.g. we may get a little sick, but - not all of my loved ones will die. The kids aren’t at school, but - I get to spend quality time with them).

We know deep down that life will never be the same again. We’re grieving over the life that we’ve lost and also over our loss of safety about our future.

Our primitive brain knows something bad is happening.

We’re stumped as we don’t know what to do about it. We’re not sure that our age-old go-to methods of fight, flight, freeze or follow will work against this new enemy.

We’re also drifting aimlessly back and forwards through the five stages of grief:

• There’s denial, which we see a lot of early on: This virus won’t affect us.

• There’s anger: You’re making me stay home and taking away my activities.

• There’s bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right?

• There’s depression and sadness: I don’t know when this will end.

• And finally, there’s acceptance. This is happening and I have to figure out how to proceed.

Acceptance is the stage we need to get to. Once there, we need to try to stay in this stage as long as we can as this is where our power lies (we will flit back into the other stages).

Acceptance is the place where we can find the control that we are searching for.

• I can wash my hands.

• I can keep a safe distance.

• I can learn how to work virtually.

• I can plan for the future.

We need to let go of that which we cannot control (what your neighbour does) and focus on what you can control (keeping 2 metres away from him).

Be kind to other people. They may behave out of character as they may be having a hard time dealing with this situation too. Remind yourself that all emotions are temporary. When you name the emotion, you will recognise how you are feeling. Once you've expressed this, the emotion is able to move through you and pass on.

Anticipated grief (anxiety) happens when your mind goes to the future. The simplest way to calm yourself is to bring yourself back into the present. Really focus your attention in the room by engaging your senses:

• Name five things you can see in the room

• Touch something and notice its texture

• Be aware of any noises you can hear

• Be aware of any smells in the room and

• Notice any tastes in your mouth

Then, take 3 slow deep breaths…

And

be aware

that

in this moment

you are

okay.

If you are struggling and would like to find out more about booking a few Holistic Therapy video call appointments with me, click here to drop me a message.

If you would like some free hints and tips on how to cope, click here to join my Facebook group.

Corona Anxiety is Real!

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 17:11:23 GMT

Do you think you’re going crackers?

Corona Anxiety Is Real!

Are you finding it hard to concentrate on anything? Are you all out of kilter? Do you think you’re going crackers? You are not alone!

Just stop!

Take 3 slow deep breaths and relaaaaaaax.

Feeling this way at this time is perfectly normal. When something worries us our stress system kicks in to keep us safe. One part of this is that we become hyper-vigilant. We're on guard. We can’t help feeling that we need to avoid danger and that we need to feel in control.

The Coronavirus pandemic swiped the rug from under our feet when it entered our lives so suddenly. Our lives changed and are still constantly changing. Everything has been disrupted, feels uncertain, and the future is an unknown entity. No wonder our thoughts are all over the place and we can’t concentrate on anything.

Now, back in the day when we were all living in caves, this constant scanning of the environment kept us safe from any attack from sabre-toothed tigers and the like. Nowadays, our scanning helps us to keep our distance from people we think are about to cough in our direction. Scanning the news and social media helps us to keep up to date with the death count and local Coronavirus outbreaks.

However, sometimes we can take it too far. The information we find winds us up and actually increases our stress levels. Our heart rate increases raising our blood pressure, our breathing becomes shallow and our muscles tense. We feel agitated and irritable and we can’t connect with our family. We can’t settle, we have trouble falling asleep and sleeping deeply is definitely a thing of the past! We may reach out to our “crutches”; the things that we think “helped” us in the past. We may think that alcohol, chocolate, over-eating, excessive exercising, and drugs will help but, actually, they only offer us a false temporary solution that will eventually result in exhaustion.

Constantly scrolling Facebook for Coronavirus news to obsess over is not healthy. Here are some healthy coping activities:

· Practice slow deep breathing a few times a day

· Find things that make you laugh (comedians, funny films and sitcoms, games). Laugh long and often.

· It’s okay to cry. Watch a sad movie to help you release pent up emotion and tension.

· Exercise to burn off any of the stress hormone (adrenaline) your body makes. Yoga, walking or even dancing in the house is okay.

· Find a way to help others around you to feel better during this unsettling time.

And lastly, remember that Coronavirus is affecting all of us in different ways. People may be expressing their anxiety in a way that is difficult for you to cope with. They may show it by meltdowns, defiance and an inability to complete tasks (especially children).

Stop. Take 3 slow deep breaths, and be kind to people – they may also be feeling really anxious inside.

If you are struggling and would like to find out more about having a few Holistic Therapy video call appointments with me, click here to drop me a message.

If you would like some free hints and tips on how to cope, click here to join my Facebook group.

Is Corona Virus The Universal Wake-Up Call That We All Need Right Now?

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:59:54 GMT

Has mother earth decided we need a bit of a shakeup? Do we need to stop and take time out to look at the way we are living? Why are we simply existing on a day to day basis instead of focusing on living our lives in a way that brings us joy?

Has mother earth decided we need a bit of a shakeup? Do we need to stop and take time out to look at the way we are living? Why are we simply existing on a day to day basis instead of focusing on living our lives in a way that brings us joy?

In 1994 I hurt my back (that’s a story for another day!). I’d spent the last few years ignoring the niggles which flared up every so often. This time was different! I was off work for months and it took me many more to recover. All the ‘fulfill my life’s purpose’ nonsense went straight out the window. I was thrown right back into ‘will I survive’ mode.

This time gave me an opportunity to reassess my life. All the things I’d thought were important (career, new car, etc.) paled into insignificance in comparison to my health and wellbeing. It was a horrible, horrible time. It was a time full of listening to “you shouldn’t be doing that” from well-meaning friends, fear of what to do for the best and future projections of wheelchairs and isolation (yes, my mind did run this wild in the middle of the night!).

It was deep.

It was dark

It was depressing.

But…

It was necessary.

It was the chrysalis stage (enlightenment came much, much later!). I was 28 and without this period in my life, I would not have started making the necessary changes to my life.

Now, when I look back, I can see that I’d been crawling along in life like a caterpillar. The chrysalis stage gave me the time for reflection – to step back and take a stark, fresh look at my life. As I started to break through the hard-outer cocoon, I started making some changes. Fast forward a few years and I metamorphosised into the beautiful Holistic Therapist butterfly that I am today.

I invite you all to see the C-19 lock-down as your chrysalis time. You didn’t listen to your body telling you to slow down and make changes so now mother earth has given this time to you. A time to slow down, to be still, and to reflect.

Have a think about what is important to you?

Family? Fresh air? Freedom? Loo roll?

Are you ready to let go of all the stuff you’ve accumulated over the years?

I don’t mean your material items! I mean the Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual baggage you’ve been accumulating and carrying around with you. You know, the heavy feeling that you’ve been allowing to weigh you down and stop you from moving forward.

Are you ready and willing to take this opportunity to find your true self again?

The bit of you, the spark, that’s buried deep beneath your role as work colleague, spouse, mother, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour etc.; the very essence of you that got lost along the way as the years flew passed.

Are you ready to walk forward into a new lighter, brighter you?

If yes, then I am very excited, because it means you are ready to begin your work with me!

Why me?

Because I’ve been there! I’ve done it my way. I’ve also been helping people find their way through their own troubling times for over 20 years! And now, I’m ready to help you find a way to do it your way.

Or,

Once the Corona Virus Pandemic is over, you can go back to rebuilding a similar life to the one you had before and you will never know the joy of metamorphosising into the beautiful butterfly that is your right…

Mother earth has handed you a great opportunity. Choose not to waste it. Choose wisely.

Click on the link to join my Facebook Group and we can take the first few steps together.

Email: Jayne@JayneBurke.com

Website: www.JayneBurke.com

"Mary" Christmas

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 18:40:28 GMT

"... to top it all - it’s bldy Christmas in a few days’ time and I’m meant to be happy! Merry F*ing Christmas everyone!” Mary blurted out.

On Tuesday 20th December 2016 I met Mary. Mary was a lovely lady who had recently turned 37 and, to an outsider, it looked as if she had everything. However, when she walked in through my therapy room door on that cold wintery morning she was in a terrible state and almost as soon as she sat down, she practically spat out the following words.

“I need some help. I can’t manage on my own. I’ve just lost my mum. The kids keep bickering. The baby won’t stop screaming. Work is really busy and they keep playing the same Christmas carols over and over again. My husband is a waste of space at the moment. My neck and shoulders hurt like hell. I’ve got a constant headache. The cat keeps catching mice and then throwing up everywhere. The house looks like a tip. There are toys everywhere. I can’t keep up with the laundry and the ironing basket is overflowing.”

She paused in her monologue just long enough to catch a quick breath before continuing with

“I just don’t know which way to turn! What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m just about up to here with it all. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. And, if that wasn’t enough - to top it all - it’s bl**dy Christmas in a few days’ time and I’m meant to be happy! Merry F***ing Christmas everyone!”

And, at that point, she burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollable for a good 10 minutes.

Wow! Does it sound to you as if she’s feeling she’s got a lot on her plate! It’s not surprising her shoulders ache – it sounds as if she’s got the weight of the whole world on them. Does this pattern sound familiar? Can you relate to some or all of this?

If you can, don’t worry. This is quite common with the majority of women who come to see me. You are all amazing women and you all cope on your own for such a very, very long time and then, suddenly, something happens, it’s the last straw, and it all comes to a head. You realise that you’ve been running on empty, that you’ve got nothing left in the tank to run on and that you simply can’t go on like this anymore and this is the time that you reach out to me for help.

At this point, I’m not actually sure if working with me on a 1:1 would be right for you, so I’m happy to have a quick chat with you so we can find out. Email or ring me.

Email: Jayne@JayneBurke.com

Phone: 01242 602582

In the meantime, why not sign up for my "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" which contains the first tip I gave to Mary.

How do I Choose a Good Massage Therapist?

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 22:51:45 GMT

Here are some points for you to think about

Massage therapy in the UK isn’t regulated. Anyone can set themselves up as a massage therapist with little or no training. Unlike other forms of therapy, such as psychotherapy or physiotherapy, there are no laws or regulations holding practitioners to account.

Here are some points for you to think about:

· How long has the therapist been qualified?

· How long/ thorough was their training course?

· Are there any conditions they are not qualified to work with (some basic courses exclude clients who are pregnancy or have had cancer etc.)?

· Which professional organisations does the therapist belong to?

· Would I feel more comfortable working with a male or female therapist?

· Is the location within walking distance? Is it near a bus stop? Is there parking available?

· Are there any accessibility issues (big steps, steep drive etc.)?

· How long is my appointment time? How much hands on massage time will I get?

· Does the therapist offer one off appointments or a course of sessions?

· How much will it cost me?

· Are there different prices for different techniques?

· If they use other modalities (e.g. aromatherapy burner in the room) are they qualified and insured in these therapies?

· Why do I want massage (relaxation, muscular pain and tension, de-stress)?

· Do I need to undress? Do I need certain underwear (shorts, sports top)?

· What is the draping policy - will I be covered by a sheet or towel?

· Will the room be heated?

· What is the cancellation policy?

· Do they work with the body’s natural ability to heal itself without using force and prefer to use a more gentle approach to bodywork or do they believe in a no-pain no-gain approach and prefer to give deep tissue massage?

· Who do they most like to work with? And what goals do these clients have?

· Do they work from a clinic? Do they have a dedicated therapy room at home? Is their massage table squeezed into their living room? Are they mobile and bring their massage table to my home?

· What necessary information will I be required to tell the therapist before they start the massage?

REMEMBER: IF YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING YOUR EXPERIENCE YOU CAN ASK THE THERAPIST TO STOP THE MASSAGE AT ANY POINT.

Why should you choose an MTI-accredited therapist for your massage treatment?

When you are in pain or stressed and needing a space to let go, you want to make sure that you are putting yourself in good hands. How can you do that? Go see an MTI therapist.

Watch this video to see an MTI massage in action:

https://youtu.be/IE1Nn6WcnEw

Benefits include:

· Deep tissue massage to release long-held tensions and adjust posture

· Ease emotional and psychological stress

· Get support for chronic pain and illness

· Holistic therapy that includes mind, body and soul. We see the whole person, not just the ailment

· Client-centred treatment: we meet you how you are on the day and ask you what is going to help you the most

· Aftercare for you to practise between sessions to help you make real, sustainable changes

· Build an ongoing therapeutic relationship that can support you through life for years to come

· Our high standard of training: Level 4 and 5 Diplomas, which are a minimum of nine months long and equivalent to the first and second year of a degree programme

· Our mandatory code of ethics, so you can be sure of the professionalism and integrity of our therapists.

Did you know you can book a free 10 minute chat to find out if you would like to work with me? You can use the form on my Contact page. I look forward to hearing from you.

SATs - Love Them or Hate Them?

Sun, 28 Apr 2019 09:32:37 GMT

With the right preparation, they give children the opportunity to learn how to deal with stress.

SATs whether we love them or hate them, with the right preparation, they offer our children an opportunity to learn how to deal with stress.

"Last year primary school teachers in a National Education Union (NEU) survey reported children crying, having nightmares and being so stressed they needed extra support to cope with SATs."

Why are our children not celebrating trying their best?

All year they have been trying their best at school, but suddenly, they are caught up worrying about how the SATs results will show everyone what they can't do.

Why are our children so worried about what others might think?

Why are they comparing themselves against others or seeking outside reassurance instead of looking inside of themselves to check if they’ve done a good job?

"The Kellogg’s research discovered that 30% of ten and eleven year olds confessed their biggest fear was of being embarrassed by their results, with 15% worrying their friends would get better marks and a whopping 40% described their biggest worry during their exams as letting their parents down."

These exams are simply a snapshot in time. They are a reflection of what our children have (or have not) been taught, how they have assimilated that information and if they can recall it on the day of the test – which is especially difficult if stress levels are high.

Aren’t our school days meant to be the happiest of our lives?

Shouldn’t our children be allowed to be children? Should they be encouraged to be inquisitive and soak up knowledge like a sponge because the teachers are enthusiastic about their job and because it piques our children’s interest and stimulates their imagination? Or should they be forced to sit nicely at a desk and have the how to pass the SATs stuff drilled into them?

“We have been subject to huge pressures to narrow the curriculum and to replace deep conceptual learning with temporary memorisation of facts and procedures to boost SATs results.”

When did the destination become more important than the journey?

I remember turning up a little bit early to collect my son after school one day and I was surprised to find the headmaster sat on a chair in the playground playing his guitar with all of the children sat on the floor around him mesmerised as they sang along with his tune. When he saw me, he sheepishly said he was supposed to be doing handwriting with them, but that it was such a lovely afternoon …

Do you know what? I was pleased as punch that he’d ditched his planned lesson. That time was golden. The children got so much out of it. There were similar incidents dotted in amongst my son’s time there that I was aware of (e.g. a parent going in to teach the children how to make chutney) and I’m sure there were many more that I’m not aware of. I’m convinced it was times like these that helped to foster a love of school and education amongst the pupils and encouraged both the pupils and the parents to respect the teachers. It has remained in my memory for over 10 years and I believe that our teachers should be encouraged to build in times such as this without worrying about the negative impact it may have on any academic results.

"86% of teachers said that “preparation for SAT’s squeeze out other parts of the curriculum.”

Children who have a strong inner belief in themselves, left to their own devises, will not be overly concerned about SATs. However, the news, the teachers, the children in the playground, their parents and the chatter from the parents at the school gates may eventually begin to work its way through, eroding their self-esteem and may even have the most outwardly confident child quaking in their boots as they endure the agonising wait for their SATs results.

“We've had children crying, making themselves ill and refusing to come to school - even labelling themselves failures - because of these tests.”

So imagine what this can do to those who are not overly confident, or those who are already aware that their skills do not lie in maths and English? Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Might you decide to retreat into yourself or give up trying? Might you try and find a way to get out of taking the SATs or skip school? How will it affect the rest of your time in education?

“It reinforces to SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) children everything they can't do.”

“It is painful watching these most vulnerable children being made to feel less than the great human beings they are because they are aware that these activities don't help them to shine.”

In this day and age, why are some of our children not eating breakfast?

Is it because there is no food available? Is it because they stay up late so they get up too late for breakfast? Is it because parents rush off to work leaving them to their own devices? Is it because an energy drink is quicker? Is it because they feel stressed and their stomach is upset?

Kellogg’s research also discovered that just under 10% didn’t eat most mornings of SATs week, with girls as likely as boys to abandon breakfast when under pressure. 4% swapped breakfast for energy drinks or coffee and 2% used cigarettes as an alternative way to get exam ready.

Mental health is such a hot topic now (for good reason!). Anything we can do to help smooth our children’s passage through any challenging times has to move up the agenda and take priority. Things will always crop up in our lives but it is so empowering when we recognise that it is up to us if we choose to allow it to stress us out or not. Learning how to relax and how to take things in our stride has to be given the importance that it deserves. My online courses help develop the necessary skills to enable you and your child to glide as smoothly through life as is possible.

What can we, as parents, do to help minimise the distress our children are being subjected to?

Download my Top Tips for Exams to help reduce stress during exam times

With a little bit of help parents can easily learn to be great role models. We simply need to stop stressing out, slow down, stop rushing around all of the time, and learn to take time out with our children to do the simple things in life like stopping to smell the roses or watching a raindrop rolling down a window pane every so often. Try it. I bet any stress you were feeling just melts away as you are caught up in the moment of sharing the beauty of nature with your child.

Jayne Burke Holistic Therapist and Happy Hands PAT (Positive Appropriate Touch) Instructor

Jayne has been a Holistic Therapist helping people to let go of any unnecessary pain and stress for over 20 years. She is now working with schools in the Gloucestershire area to provide lessons which encourage pupils to develop an understanding of when they start to feel stress. She teaches them a range of breathing exercises and a variety of relaxation exercises so that they can start to manage their feelings of stress before it exacerbates so that they can quickly return to a calm, balanced state. She also works with parents and their children (in group workshops or as private clients) and she is also producing online courses.

References:

SATs Do Not Benefit Children’s Learning And Are Bad For Their Well-Being – NEU Survey

https://neu.org.uk/assessment/sats-do-not-benefit-childrens-learning-and-are-bad-their-well-being-neu-survey

Kelloggs Research

https://www.kelloggs.co.uk/content/dam/europe/kelloggs_gb/pdf/SATs-week-FINAL.pdf

Massage during Pregnancy

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 18:21:13 GMT

The where, when, why, what, how and who...

Why?

1. Pain - During pregnancy your body changes to accommodate your growing baby. These physical changes often result in aches and pains (e.g. lower back) as different muscles are called into action. Massage can help to relax and ease these tense, tight, overworked muscles and help to relieve some of the nagging aches and pains. NHS Choices state “The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) advises that massage therapy might help to ease back pain in pregnancy”.

2. Stress - Pregnancy is a time of great excitement. However, this time is often tinged with apprehension as expectant mums experience mild concerns over the health of their unborn baby, the birth process, the imminent changes to their lifestyle, and their ability to take on the mothering role. Massage in pregnancy can help to relax and calm mums and can help to reduce stress and anxiety levels. NHS Choices state that, in pregnancy, “there is some evidence to support the use of massage and aromatherapy for treating anxiety”.

3. Because your baby needs you at your best!

When?

1. Massage is beneficial before pregnancy to help the body to prepare for the changes that will take place. It can also help to reduce stress, which as we know, will play a huge role in assisting your body in getting pregnant in the first place.

2. Massage is beneficial throughout the whole of your pregnancy. The Mother & Baby Magazine website states that massage can help with a variety of pregnancy symptoms and side effects.

3. Massage is beneficial during labour and the birth of your baby. The NCT state that you “try massage to help you cope with the pain in labour”.

4. Massage is also beneficial after birth. The new activities associated with caring for your new born such as bending over to do nappy changes, holding baby to soothe and/ or feed him/ her and carrying baby around will also take its toll on your body as different muscles are brought into play especially those around your neck, shoulders and upper back area. Because massage is so relaxing it allows you to recoup some of the benefits you are missing due to lack of sleep.

5. Massage is also beneficial for your baby. It can help to deepen the bonding experience, help you to develop skills to soothe baby, and massaging your baby is really relaxing for you too! You can learn how to massage your baby safely through my Infant/ Baby Massage courses.

6. Massage is also beneficial for your child and you can learn how to massage your child through my Story Massage courses and my Massage In Schools Program courses.

How?

I will provide a nurturing, warm, safe space for you to relax, unwind and let go of any physical, mental, emotional and spiritual stress and tension as my hands gently identify which muscles are tight, tense and overworked. I will use the most appropriate massage strokes and techniques to ask your muscles to let go of some of the unnecessary tension they are currently holding whilst also facilitating your deep relaxation.

Advice regarding positioning will be given so that you can get really comfortable on the massage table/ couch with supportive cushions or alternative seated positions as necessary specifically for your comfort. If you choose to remove clothing (so that I can use oil on your skin) adequate draping with sheets to protect your modesty will always be achievable.

What?

Massage is the use of hands (and forearms etc.) on (or occasionally just above) the body. The touch will vary for each individual and on each session but should always be “positive” and “appropriate” for you. E.g. not so deep that it inflicts pain, not so light that it tickles, and it should only ever be on the areas that you consent to being touched. Touch invokes various physiological responses in the body and how I vary my touch determines which responses occur. Massage on your bump in a pregnancy massage session is optional. Most pregnant ladies are happy to massage their bump themselves at home and prefer work on other parts of their body during their session.

Who?

Some massage therapists are NOT allowed to work with pregnant ladies. They will have attended a very basic massage training course and they will not have the necessary anatomy and physiology knowledge or developed the necessary understanding to adapt their work accordingly.

A few massage therapists will have completed an extensive massage training course (e.g. MTI) including a very detailed anatomy and physiology element so that they are able to personally tailor their work according to the condition of the people they work with. A few of these massage therapists will also have undertaken additional specialised training in working with people during their pregnancy (e.g. Massage and Pregnancy).

Where?

I am based in Winchcombe (just north of Cheltenham). I have access to my own therapy room and to a clinic space where I can also work with groups if required (I love hosting my “Pregnancy” and “After the Birth” Therapy Parties, and my “Mum and Baby” and “Mum and Child” courses).

Jayne Burke.

I am a Holistic Therapist in a range of therapies and I am also a PAT Instructor and teach mums to work with their own babies and children. As a highly skilled Holistic Massage Therapist with over 20 years’ experience, I am personally able to tailor my work to offer you the most appropriate Holistic Massage experience for you on the specific days your appointments are scheduled into your Mum to Be, New Mum, Mum and Baby and Mum and Child Wellbeing Programs.

Click here to find out more about what will happen in your first Holistic Massage session.

Click here if you would like to contact me to book a session or if you have any queries.

Click here if you would like to download my FREE "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" article along with my why our breath is so important video.

Website: www.JayneBurke.com

Phone: 01242 602582

Because PAT ( P ositive A ppropriate T ouch) is important for all ages.

Please Note: It is always best to discuss your condition and seek advice from your GP or midwife before booking a massage - especially if you are having a high risk pregnancy.

WebMD state that 80% of miscarriages occur in the first trimester. Many massage therapists chose not to work with ladies in their first trimester because they do not have the necessary skills to support the women in their care if this should happen. Also, should a miscarriage happen, many women torment themselves trying to find an outside cause of why it happened, and, at some point, there may be doubts raised about if the massage therapist was responsible. However, if massage with a well trained professional Holistic Massage therapist could cause a miscarriage then I’m sure many women with an unwanted pregnancy would choose to avail themselves of this service instead of having to go through the whole abortion procedure!

Your body is a road map of your life so far...

Sun, 19 Aug 2018 16:01:31 GMT

...which means if you can change your life you can change your body in the future. Or vice versa; if you can change your body you can change the rest of your life... I help you to celebrate the good stuff that is stored in your body and I help you to let go of the rest.

Your body is a road map of your journey through life so far. Although the physical scars are easily visible on the outside of your skin, the mental and emotional scars are hidden within your muscle fibres and even within each cell structure itself.

Weight lifters are great visual examples of how we can deliberately choose to change our body structure by physical exercise. In the same way that repetitive physical actions such as texting or using a mouse or continual physical actions such as lifting a shoulder to keep a handbag on our shoulder will also alter our physical posture over time.

Holding muscles tight uses up a lot of energy and will eventually leave you feeling tired or exhausted. Although your initial reason for visiting me may be simply to relieve your pain, as a Holistic Therapist, I am interested in what lies behind the tension within your muscle fibres. What mental or emotional stress did you choose to store within your muscles because you did not feel safe enough to express it at the time.

When you instinctively clenched your fist in preparation to punch someone, why did you overrule this instinct so that your fist never made contact with their face? What emotional trauma did you experience at the time and hide away deep within your muscle fibres? This method of repression serves us well at the time (punching our boss never seems to go down particularly well!) but is not good for us on a long term basis. Are you now ready to let go of the muscular tension and thus release the suppressed feelings?

Which muscles did you clench to stop yourself from being a baby and crying when someone was saying things that dis-empowered you, making you feel small, and making you want to cry? Now that you’ve reopened the lid on the memory, will you allow my hands to gently ask those muscles to let go of any of their unnecessary tension?

Redundancy, divorce, illness? Do you find that your lower back hurts when your (financial) security is threatened?

Your body uses an age old language to communicate with you. It tries so hard to tell you when you are slightly out of balance and it begins to whisper its messages to you. Should you ignore these gentle hints, your body then begins to raise its voice and you become aware of more serious aches and pains. Should you again choose to ignore this and carry on in the same manner, your body may eventually need to shout and you may even find yourself incapacitated for a period of time. Recognising that changes need to be made in your life means that transformation will follow and the rest of your life may be much better because of the changes you choose to bring about now. With hindsight, a breakdown can also be seen as a breakthrough.

As you begin to release any physical, mental, emotional and spiritual tension and stress, you begin to feel lighter and more energised. The baby brain or menopausal fog seems to lift, so that you can think clearly and you start to feel more human again. Chores no longer get you down, life becomes fun and you start to look forward to what the next day will bring.

Seeing you transform your dread of dragging yourself out of your bed for yet another mundane Monday morning into a “Wahoo – I wonder what adventures this week will bring me?” is what I love most about being a Holistic Therapist.

I look forward to working with you as a client or on my courses if what I've written interests and resonates with you.

Click here if you would like to contact me to book a session or if you have any queries.

Click here if you would like to download my "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" article along with my why our breath is so important video.

My First Blog Post

Sun, 19 Aug 2018 14:55:23 GMT

Lots more information coming your way... Knowledge is power. When we feel empowered we can begin to make changes.

I have finally decided to take the plunge and add a blog to my website. This will be a great way to share information with you and I'm super excited to start this journey. Keep coming back to my site and check for updates right here on my blog page.
P.N. Some blogs will only be accessible if you are subscribed to my mailing list.

Click here to subscribe and you will also receive my "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" article along with my why our breath is so important video.

jayne-burke

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Massage during Pregnancy

The where, when, why, what, how and who...

Your body is a road map of your life so far...

...which means if you can change your life you can change your body in the future. Or vice versa; if you can change your body you can change the rest of your life... I help you to celebrate the good stuff that is stored in your body and I help you to let go of the rest.

My First Blog Post

Lots more information coming your way... Knowledge is power. When we feel empowered we can begin to make changes.

"... to top it all - it’s bldy Christmas in a few days’ time and I’m meant to be happy! Merry F*ing Christmas everyone!” Mary blurted out.